The 7th Day

Chinese believes the soul will come back on the 7th day after died.

Po po supposed to come back on Sunday (28-Sept-2008) after 11pm. However.... sadly... she didn't come back. We put flour on the floor as Chinese believes if the soul did come back, u'll see footprints on the flour.

Rong claimed his cousin brothers saw there were footprints when his grandpa passed away. Ming told me before that she heard there was chain sound on the 7th day after her grandpa passed away too. Also, she dreamt of him.

How come??? How come po po didn't come back??? not even a dream??

沉浸在外婆逝世的悲伤中

婆婆走了... 算是安心的走吗?
听妈咪说, 婆婆想见我们这几个最后一面的(万维, 阿碧, 我...).
可是, 我们没能赶得及...

"婆婆,你怎么可以酱, 没说bye bye就走了...
知不知道这很没礼貌?? 知不知道我会很不甘心??
没能见你最后一面, 说再见..."

希望婆婆能安息.
送婆婆那天, 妈咪哭到晕倒... x n次.
也害我没能陪婆婆走完最后一程...
妈咪很偏激, 不停的骂二姨, 说在世的时候没有常回去看婆婆, 死后才哭得要死不活.
不知道婆婆能走得安心吗..
不能怪人呀! 妈咪不需要工作, 可以说走就走.
二姨还得照顾她行动有点不方便的老公, 还得看着她3个儿子啊...
二姨还要我不要怪妈咪, 还会帮忙照顾她.

我真的不知道该如何对待她. 如何与她沟通.
太偏激了!!
我劝她不要与二姨吵架时, 她还骂我说现在婆婆走了, 剩下的女儿,我在她身边等于没有依靠.
哀莫大于心死.. 真的很伤心啊~
很想怪她.. 可是Joanne说她外婆逝世时, 她妈妈也是这样, 还哭得眼出血呢..
所以想想, 可能妈咪不是有心的, 算了吧. 虽然还是在我心里留下了伤痕...

我很想念婆婆.. 非常的想念.
回到Serdang时, 喊"婆婆" 也不会有人会回应了...
妈咪再也没有借口回来Serdang了...
我也少了一个依靠, 一个精神寄托, 我就只剩妈咪了.

这个礼拜是婆婆的回魂日, 真的很希望能看到婆婆.
我也一直等着婆婆报梦给我..

我脚拇指黑了, 不知是不是因为跪太久了...

Po po is gone.. She went off last night around 7pm, before i manage to talk to her and see her one last time.. Together, her best friend plus neighbor went off around the same time.
I prayed for her long live, prayed for her health, so that she can attend my wedding.. She'll see i'm happily ever after, then she'll meet my children.. But now, she's gone!
I'm gonna miss her very very much... It's hard for me to let her go..

Beloved Po Po -continued

Po po's health is getting worse after she fell in the toilet. From waist pain till legs no strength to stand (claim by her), slowly become Alzheimer's disease. From calling Anne or Shiat Yee non-stop, then become calling her mum... and now, she has no respond to anything already.

Her 86-years-old b'day falls on this weekend. But i just got a bad news from Aunty Ah Yoon that she can't eat and drink anymore. Also, her half body is swollen.

i thought she'll get better after she discharged from hospital last week. She is not that bad on the Mooncake festival, even though i told Aunty Ah Yoon that po po can hardly chew and swallow rice. Actually the next day, i found po po's left hand is swollen but i thought there's nothing wrong and just leave it.

OMG, now i hate myself!!! for not telling Aunty Ah Yoon the problem earlier, maybe she'll be better. However, on the other hand, po po has been suffering these years.... should we pray for her to live longer? or we should pray for her to leave peacefully and without pain??

i don't feel like letting her go..... i don't want to let her go, i want her to stay here till the day i get married. i want her to sit next to me on the wedding day... i want her to witness my BIG day..

Yin Sin said once body is swollen, means her time is not long before she goes.... Prue also said we should pray for her to go peacefully instead of holding her here suffering...

If, there is ever a God, don't care Christian, Buddhist or Hindu... If.. u really want to take po po away... please don't let her suffer... bring her to heaven and send her to a nice and wealthy home for her next life.

Po po's dicking her ear in year 2003


Po po's b'day on year 2003.


Po po's b'day on year 2006


Mother's day 2007, po po still looks fine even though can't sit still.


Po po's b'day on year 2007


Po po's b'day on year 2007, family photos


Po po's 3 daughters, taken on Reunion dinner 2008


Reunion Dinner 2008

I LOVE U, PO PO!!!!

nightmare

i had a nightmare this morning...

as usual, we same group of clubbing kaki went clubbing together again. The dance club was located somewhere in a very big shopping centre with a lots of escalator. we parked our car at rooftop. Then we went to the dance club with live band, a very pretty and sexy singer singing.

Got Eddie, Bao Bao, Joan and him, we were drunk like hell and planning to leave. Joan met her friends there and she left with them without telling me. Bao Bao and Eddie both also left drunkenly without me knowing tooo. then left him, however, he was attracted by the pretty and sexy singer. He was there, flirting with the girl. I was damn sad. Sadly, i left that dance club and wanted to go home. I couldn't find the exit, i couldn't find anyone to send me back. It was midnight, i couldn't take a cab back, i don't know why. i was left there walking up and down using those long escalators. i'm lost~

then i was awaken from the dream. scary ne~ why i'm having such kinda weird dream?? i though i have get over him?? what am i afraid of?? i'm not that like him, so why am i having such stupid dream for?!

Better find a new target asap.. otherwise i'm gone...

Karaoke @Green Box

yo yo~ skipped work today and joined chi-sin gangs:, & for Karaoke session at Green Box Sg Wang.

Having fun and screamed our heart out to release our stress.. hehe...

Then K, of course, we'll take sticker photos before shopping/leave. hehehe....

nice?? hehe.. we look younger instantly... (in the pic)

4 silly gals, aren't we? =P but i like spending time with them, fun and u'll forget all ur trouble.

After K, we went to Pavilion for window shopping, really a window shopping as i didn't buy anything except for my favorite: -

Forget what are the names, i only know i like strawberry and chocolate flavor.

Coco Banana

Went to Coco Banana @Sunway Pyramid last night.

Very simple reason = i feel like eating the seafood at puchong. Wanna eat crab + man tau, so i asked them whether free or not to gather together for this makan session. Then stupid think think, wanna intro my housemate to , trying to fix them up. ok loh. Slowly, from a very small group of *makan session, become still a small makan group but BIG group for 2nd round to dance club. Complicated!

Due to stupid 's insist, i have *ajak 3 different groups of girl friend.

1st group = who have known that gang for a year and quite close.

2nd group = and her childhood friend Michelle. My Sony colleague who and her friend are kinda shy type, not that extrovert.

3rd group = , high class type not as 38 as me and .

3 different groups, how u expect me to layan them at the same time?? for sure they'll feel bored. As a result, really feel bored. claimed she's tired and still gotta work today also, but i can tell, she's bored too...

but i had fun myself though. Had drank abit of beer on Wednesday at Wei Wei's b'day celebration. don't really like beer, but i like the high feeling after u drank few mugs of beer. Hence, i feel like drinking again, don't feel i have drank enough on Wednesday mah. wow, last night i really drank a lot of whisky!!! i danced, i gotta know few leng zais tim...

*******************************************************************************************
*Note: Ajak (Bahasa Melayu) = invite
Makan (Bahasa Melayu) = eat

My beloved Po Po

婆婆生病了!!! 也不算生病啦, 因为营养不足, 所以当女佣和Anne Anne叫婆婆起床的时候, 婆婆完全没有反应. 吓死她们了!!

Anne Anne called 我的时候, 刚好我在补习, 所以没接到她的电话.

真的吓死我了!!! 还好只是营养不良, 需要打点滴. 可是今天就得留在医院内.... 好想去看看她...
可是好不巧的是, 我竟然生病了!!!

什么啊!!!! 竟然在这个时候生病!!! 今天好好休息, 每天一早就回去.

Note:唉.... 我又同mummy吵架啦....

Weather in my heart - Cloudy

***********
CASE I
***********
Why this always happen?? the one that u like, he doesn't like u. the one that u have no chemistry reaction is going after u??

now only i know, i'm NOT the only one. To him, me and her are the same.
I though i'm SPECIAL which in fact i'm NOT!! NOT!! NOT at all!!


idiot!!! stupid!! fxcker!!! moron!!!
王八蛋!! 臭鸡蛋!! 坏蛋!! 蠢蛋!!
Babi! Bodoh! Benci betul!

aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
i really hate myself for being so super duper damn fxcking DUMB right now!!
FINE!! there are more fishes in the sea, why u, stupid ikan bilis!!

***********
CASE II
***********
i think i need to seek for psychiatrist's advices on HOW-TO not treating my mum as my enemy. i don't want to spend the rest of my life in regret.

everytime when she called me, i was not talking nicely to her. 1st, the coverage is not good at home (JB), conversation is breaking; so i need to speak louder. 2ndly, don't know why, i'll never ever talk nicely to her. why ah???

i remember myself used to be very manja, like to stick with her when she was back. Wanting her to feed me even though i was already standard 6 that time, otherwise i won't eat.

i think the change started ever since i had moved in to live with her in our own house in JB. Due to $$$, i guess. we argued almost everyday when we were staying together, worst till i ever tried to commit suicide twice. Of course, i didn't succeed, otherwise it'll be GHOST who is blogging at this page now.....

She is my only family in this world. I have been wanting her to enjoy the rest of her life when i start working. I want her to be the happiest mum ever, be proud of me, a daughter that she can brag around. However... maybe i'm a good daughter in the eyes of relatives or friends. Deep down, i know i'm not. As i never talk nice to her. Oh, god! help me... i really need some helps here, to change our relationship. To be a real family who can share our joys and tears, going through the difficulties, challenges and even our love together just like those Taiwanese drama's family.

i think this is the reason why i don't like to watch Hong Kong drama, they like to fight each other even though their blood are deeply connected for the wealth.

超級周星馳fan屎

在我最down的時候, 最喜歡看周星馳的電影啦.
因為我會笑到肚子痛, 笑到掉眼淚, 笑到忘了煩惱.
很好的一個解壓和忘憂的方法吧??

因為一個豬頭, 今天一整天的心情挺糟的. 沒有mood.
剛剛看了<鬥牛, 要不要> 的ep16, 哭了一下下.
然后呢, 現在看著周星馳的<孫悟空之月光寶盒>, 哈哈, 笑到我半死!!
還真是經典中的經典啊... 永遠都看不膩!

告訴你哦, 現在的笑戲啊, 都沒有以前周星馳的戲那么好笑.
我可是他的超級fans. 所有好好笑的戲我都有存檔.
例如: 賭俠系列的, 唐伯虎點秋香, 審死官, 白面包青天, 007, 008 和最近的功夫, 還有少林足球.
全部都是我的favorite啊....

不開心的時候看, 就是最剛的啦...

Stupid dumb dumb = ME

i take his words toooo seriously. i really hate myself now!

He said he'll call me yesterday afternoon to confirm to watch movie on Friday. But he didn't.
He said he'll bring me out this Saturday, dunno day or night. I'm waiting....
He said he'll bring me for the reflexology at SS2 someday. I'll be waiting....
He said he'll bring me to Bamboo Heineken night next Tuesday as his friend is a manager there where i don't got the invitation. Should I wait for his confirmation?

sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh...
what a mess it is in my brain now!! i thought i have forgotten him as we have not been contacting each other for 2 months+ since my b'day. I used to set his ringtone to be my fava My Girl OST then 2months ago had changed to a Chinese song "Forget". To forget him....

Shouldn't have given me any hope. Shouldn't have treated me sooo nice!! Shouldn't have sweet talk to me!! shit!! i really feel myself an idiot now. I hate myself for LOVING U!!!!

Counting sheeps

couldn't sleep. Have been rolling on my bed for 2hours and yet my mind is pretty awake.

is it because he asked me out tonight and i'm over excited to be asleep?? couldn't be~ aiyaya, i'm in DEEP shit lah... someone pull me out please... don't wanna be sank into the swamp, gotta rescue myself before it's tooo late.

i'm glad he's on ease as his father has been recovering and getting better. At least he has less worries now. Am i missing him right now?? oh my, does this call "October Veggie"????

Family Trip: Fraser's Hill

suggested to spend our merdeka holiday at Fraser's Hill. As a result, we spent our most relaxing and sort of temporary retired time in a entertainment-free but with lots of FRESH air's *bukit.

we went in 2cars, supposingly wanna drive my sayang - Kelisa there, but don't think my dear is powerful enough to reach there on time and safe. Hence, Rong was driving his Satria with exhaust pipe which was quite "attracting" while we were up there. As you may wish to know, those people we met there are all either foreigner retirees or old folks go for a relaxing and fresh air moments.

quite a memorable moment thou. the most remarkable moment is at night, poor me and Jing (she named herself as Selvin nowadays), the only singles slept at the living room with bunch of mosquito. this is so-called: "Crying without tears...." We can hardly sleep tight the whole night, why? it was quite stuffy and hot in the middle of the night, wanted to open the balcony door but can't as more mosquitos will fly in. However, even though the door was shut, we were still being bite by them the whole night. I have now very sensitive and afraid of mosquito as a consequence.

it is a nice place if u wanna release ur stress. u'll meet many tourists there and they're quite friendly. u'll feel as if "friends everywhere" when u're there. a nice place to be lazy self thinking of nothing but walk and talk.

View pictures from Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=39118&l=3a117&id=668251298
i like the "YMCA" picture the most, imagine 2 elderly posted the alphabets together with us as a youngster...

Note: *bukit (Malay language) = hill